when i first started using tumblr, every morning i would keep scrolling the dashboard until i reached the last post i saw from the night before
I read that as “the jig is up” and so I immediately started singing “THE JIG IS UP THE NEWS IS OUT THEY FINALLY FOUND ME, THE RENEGADE WHO HAD IT MADE RETRIEVED FOR A BOUNTY”. but also you’re gorgeous so stfu
oh oops it was supposed to be jig and HUSH OMG OH YOU
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street.
They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh.
Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel, “GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”
wow i should really take all these posters down but
but come on russian men i have jobro posters and child bearing hips hit me up
grandma oh my god we were talking about how i’m taking russian and
“must learn russian good. must not move to russia but go to russia. find nice russian husband. make much russian babies. must make great grandchildren.
but don’t do it before you’re twenty-five aeryn really don’t make those kinds of mistakes.”
People can walk
- Jordyn Wieber: [stands]
- NBC commentators: Wow, look at that focus. Look at that. She wants this. She needs this. She knows she can do this. She was absolutely devastated two days ago, but she is a fighter, she is strong, and she will help the Americans finish ahead of the Russian divas on the race to the top of the podium because a flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all
i’m sorry i just really like it when remus and sirius engage in pda and act really silly together and use pet names in an ironic way and have sex for reasons other than angst and the need to get off i like it when they have lots of sex because they really really fancy each other and love each other and i like it when they call each other their boyfriend and not partner or lover because sorry partner sounds like some kind of business deal and lover is like something in a mills & boon novel they are boyfriends and they are cute and yes in canon they hurt but sometimes i just like a lovely sexy delicious au when they are wonderful little munchkins that you just want to SQUeEeEeZE